In Loving Memory of Zer Her Xiong, a Hmong Woman Role Model by Yang Xiong

On December 2, 1998, stomach cancer claimed the life of Zer Her Xiong, 26 years old, loving wife of Pangh-Yee Xiong and caring mother of two children, Tounong, 2 years, and Kongmong, 8 months, all of Chico. In addition to her husband and two boys, Zer is survived by her mother, Lou Moua and five brothers, Wang Bee Her, Choua Tong Her, Vang Shoua Her, Moua Her, and Ger Her, all of Brockton, Massachusetts.

Zer was born on October 17, 1972, in Laos to Nou Pao Her and Lou Moua as the only daughter. After arriving in the United States in 1980, she started her American education in the second grade. She continued her schooling into higher education at the University of Massachusetts, Dartmouth and earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in English. Following graduation, she married Pangh-Yee Xiong in March 1996 and moved to Chico, California. Eventually, she became the mother of two boys. As the oldest and only daughter-in-law in Pangh-Yee's family, her responsibilities ranged from being a simple mother to a head of the household.

At the same time, she worked for the Chico Unified School District as an Impacted Hmong Language Liaison to help Hmong families overcome the language barrier that prevented them from participating in their children's education. Zer also acted in a play about racial differences to help promote understanding and harmony between races. At the time of her death, she was attending California State University, Chico, where she was working towards a high school teaching credential. Zer's funeral service was held on December 6, 1998, at Newton-Bracewell Chico Funeral Home, and her body was laid to rest at Glen Oaks Memorial Park in Chico.

A memorial fund has been established to offset funeral expenses and to assist Pangh-Yee in raising the two boys. Contributions may be made to Zer Xiong Memorial Fund, Account #1000107531, c/o The Golden 1 Credit Union, 239 W. 2nd St., Ste. 1, Chico, CA 95928 or directly to Pangh-Yee Xiong, 420 Nord Ave. #12, Chico, CA 95926.  You may also reach Pangh-Yee at (530) 894-1061 and e-mail:  vxiong@csuchico.edu.

A Rare Love Story

The love story of Zer and Pangh-Yee is a rare one indeed. Their story centered not only on love but also on ideals that Hmong society today values highly. These ideals are gaining an education before marriage, loving your fellow humans, and loving your spouse unconditionally until the end. Although their life together was short, they were able to live these ideals and, in doing so, touched many people's lives, especially those of families and friends. Their short love story must be told for our benefit as we struggle with our lives in America.

Zer and Pangh-Yee met during the 1989 Hmong New Year in Merced, California, where Zer was a singer for her band, "Feeb Meej." At that time, she was a junior in high school, and Pangh-Yee was a junior in college. As we know in the traditional Hmong culture, for a Hmong man and a Hmong woman at their ages, it was the time to settle down and start a family. However, realizing that the Hmong can no longer hold on to the traditional values because America demands an education to have a decent life, they made a commitment to get their education first before settling down.

They hoped that by setting an example of postponing marriage until they had earned their college degrees, younger Hmong generations would pattern their lives after them. Consequently, they were able to see each other only once or twice in a year because Pangh-Yee lived in California and Zer lived in Massachusetts. All other communications between them were through letters and phone calls. They did this for the six and one half years that it took them to complete their college degrees. Finally, they married in March 1996 in Brockton, Massachusetts, and their dream of starting a family together became a reality.

However, before they could really start to concentrate on their family, Welfare Reform forced them to lead the fight with other organizations to restore SSI and foodstamp benefits for the elderly Hmong, disabled, and veterans. This was their focus from October 1996 to December 1997. Pangh-Yee served as a leader and voice in the California Statewide Lao/Hmong Coalition, while Zer served behind the scenes as a speech and document writer, and editor. They devoted endless hours until benefits to deserving Hmong were restored. After winning this fight, they thought they could finally devote time to their family, but it was just the start of another fight: the fight for Zer's life.

On November 2, 1998, Zer was diagnosed with stomach cancer; the worst news a young couple could face. But with the help of God, Pangh-Yee was able to gather strength and took a leave of absence from work to care for his wife at Enloe Hospital in Chico. He took care of her around the clock from the day she was diagnosed to the end of her life. At first, in the hospital, they were able to talk, but Zer's condition deteriorated to where squeezing each other's hands became their only form of communication. Next, communication was limited to moving Zer's head up and down or left and right to indicate "yes" or "no." Eventually, communication was only through the blinking of an eye, and then she passed away on December 2, 1998. Throughout the ordeal, Zer and Pangh-Yee always found a way to communicate their love for one another.

Hundreds of people attended Zer's funeral, overflowing the Newton Bracewell Funeral Home from its chapel to its hallways. Many different Hmong Christian sects, Non-Christians, and Americans came together to pay respect and honor Zer's memory. They also gathered to support the Xiong and Her families through sermons, hymns, and other traditional funeral functions. Outside the funeral home, further support came from various organizations and individuals in the form of fundraising events, monetary donations, and food. Zer will be loved and missed greatly by her families and friends.

[ Back to Yang Xiong's Homepage | Back to Vaming | Back to Zer's Homepage ]